Sometimes, the dark
Is the reason for the light
The pain of loneliness
Gives way to the peace
Of finding another heart
In the day to day
We move through time
Hoping for the high road
A chance to live better
Want better
Even when you live alone
In the moment
The hope is there
For a chance at more
Better
After giving everything you can
The hope is still there
A chance for understanding
A chance for love
To get moments
I suffered for
Yearned for
A lifetime of living for another
Living as someone else
Never for myself
Just me
Change meant letting go
Of the pain
Of the past
Change meant walking away
From who I was
To finally become
Who I want to be
To finally become
Me
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
I Love: The Evolution Of The Soul
In wonder
I contemplate in quiet reverie
Of the spectacle
My life has evolved into
Through the seasons of
A moment .. racked with a speculation
Of what was
But who knew such a fate could transpire
As winter changed to spring
To summers sunny countenance with
Hopes, born in bright experiences
Purpose made real
In shades of orange and yellow fire
Opportunity was evident
Only to pass to fall with its bleak awareness
That Dusk approaches
In shades of grey
Dark hues made real
With the first snow
The dead time draws near
As Fate a cruel master
Makes it presence apparent with
Thanos close behind
Love will die in the face of the truth
Even the strongest sees the truth
As the clarity reveals itself
By the light of day .
Fates Folly
Lost in the images
Doors to different feelings
Different faces
Different futures
Possible futures
Impossible losses to be experienced
Obsession the naked ego
To need everything
Want everything
Only to understand
Fates cruel trick
Fates merciless motive
After a lifetime to give everything, a man could dream of
Only to punish him in the same action
Leaving the choice an unbearable act
The sword of Damocles waiting to drop
You can have one future
But not all
With a blessing comes a curse
Pain with pleasure
A Masochistic moment
Choose your path
But , live with the choice
With love comes pain
Choose your action
Actions have consequences
You will be loved
But you will be hated
The balance will be maintained
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Consequences And Rewards
A quest for love
As I weigh the scales of possibility
Chances for happiness
Among the distant questions
Questions of futures
Some wistful
Some promising
Some fantastical
The choices arrayed before me
In shades of red, brunette, and pink
Love?
Caring or just need?
What is real?
What would last?
I stand at the precipice
A single step to begin
Another path of destiny
Another choice of fate
Is it avarice
To want it all?
Will I be rewarded for my efforts
My love?
Is it the path of heaven I see before me?
As I raise my foot to progress
I wonder
Or is it a hell of my own creation?
Am I the luckiest man in the world?
Or a fool?
I contemplate eden
A peace I have chased my whole life
With the first rays of dawn, I took the step
Though to be honest
I wasn’t sure if this was the first Ray of Dawn
Or the dying light of Dusk
Light or darkness
A single step would determine the truth
My future is determined by
A single choice
A single step
A single act
Clarity becomes purpose
Actions have consequences
The choice has been
Made.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
The Tundra of the Lonely Soul
I stand in the empty stillness
Alone… yet cold
The promise of the light is there
If temporarily
A promise
Of warmth, of Love , of life
Amongst the silence
Loneliness
A glimmer of hope
Redemption
Though it’s the in-between times
That tortures the soul
In whispers of diabolical words
Deeds
Anguish is conveyed
The mind is a most evil jailer
Punishing my promise
Damning my thoughts
Of what could be
A touch , a caress, a kiss
Of him
Woe my busy mind
My active imagination
My sundered heart
My soul cast to shadows
The shadows of uncertainty
It’s not knowing that is the tormentor
As I dwell there waiting,
Tic… tic…. tic
Alone with the hellscape
Of my bitter worries
As time stretches forward
I’m left to wonder
Is it my foolish pride, my stupid assumptions
Or is it I who is the ultimate fool
As I stand here in the nether gloom
Of my solitary countenance
Contemplating my own mortality
My own insolence
Believing the blessing of peace
Of love
Dwelling here alone
Hoping
Needing
In those empty moments
I dream of her
Only to have my salvation shattered
By the memory of her words
The coldness without her kiss
Those times feel like death
No peace to the heart without love
I see life , but with here
Every activity was just a day you died just a little
A life devoid of love is no life at all.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Requiem: A Half A Century Gone By
Sometimes, I’m alone
On a journey began so long ago
I have lived the good and the bad moments
Fought for every gain
Suffered every defeat
Moving ever forward
Across the span of years
Decades of silence
Always fighting the good fight
Yet silent as to my true desires
Looking for meaning in the dark times
Trying to reason the futility of the monotonous
Each day lived but never living
I was existing but never present
Loving but never loved
Sacrificing my soul
Receiving only contempt
Giving my all for nothing
Five decades passed in silence
Hoping for a moment of respite
An instant of clarity
Searching for eden
Being relegated to sheol
Searching ever searching
For peace finding only grief
Only hell
On the last day of the decade
The pentenial behind me..
I let the era die
To fade into the shadows of time
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Lifetime In Moments
A Lifetime in Moments
You see, life doesn’t happen in years or decades or centuries. We live in moments…
We don’t live on an arrow of time from the past to the present to the future. The past is gone, and the future hasn’t occurred.
We simply live in the NOW. Our lives are nothing but a series of moments.
This is why the moments we have together are so precious, so unique, because it’s all we have together a series of moments in the NOW.
Each moment is our only chance to experience each other, love each other… and when they pass.. we can never get them back again.
They are forever gone.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
In The Image Of An Angel
Each day, a gulf between us
A chasm of unimaginable emptiness
As I shamble along this mortal coil
An eternity of moments slowly marches forward
Silence, utter silence, my torturer
As I wait, for a moment of solace, an instant of respite
A word of peace
In darkness, waiting, needing you to free my cold bitter heart
With the brilliance of your caring
I am buoyed by the sure knowledge
Your presence uplifts my continence
Saves my soul
Time, the vile mistress
Tick, tick, tick
Punishes me for my arrogance
To dare love such a being of light
The intimate need consumes my fevered consciousness
Your thoughts uplift my dark awareness
Your image heals my battered ego
Your smile resuscitates my soul
Each moment apart is an eternity
A singular hell , lost in pain
Only to experience the nirvana of heaven
Each time we reunite
Each word, each feeling,
Each time we meet again
Brings me to…
Life
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Echos Of Eden: In The Spaces In-between
Echos of eden
In the garden of discontent
Lost innocence in the electronic spaces
Alone in the spaces between electrons and life
As the transients of the new age suffer unrequited love
Wandering aimlessly, the web of uncertainty
Seeking, searching their golden moments
Instants of connection, moments of solace
Connections of mental communion
Or physical ardor
Alone in the crowd, a soul among many
Wanting, needing …. something
A patriarchal reminisce
A matriarchal memory
Healing that empty cold experience
Or to forget the treasonous moment
And the fact they were abandoned by life
Separated by distances by languages by blood
Realizations become evidence
Evidence becomes clearity
The world is simply a grand illusion
The actual truth is it isn’t really here
At all.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Witless Reflections:The Narcissistic Soul
A question of fidelity
The distance a bulwark against the truth
As a wall erected by her conceit
Hidden secrets, half whispered in silence
Of the lack of information of intimate knowledge
Promises of transparency in the face of stony emptiness
A face, a smile, an image of the past
As few present images are granted
As platinum need apparent
Colored by the petitioning heart
Trepidation ruled my consciousness
As I surmised my worth
A lover? A friend? A lifelong companion?
The drumbeat of my true purpose laid bare
I am the answer to a question, a means to an end
A solution to a dilemma
I’m an unwitting man
Who reached for love
But became a benefactor of a narcissistic soul.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
