Can you really see me.. at all?
Not the words on the screen
Or the image in your head
But me
The walls between us block the truth
Is the love truly there?
Leaves blow through an empty space
It’s the desolation of my expectations
As I have chased the wild mare
A revolution gone by
Memories cut like knives
Scoring her troubled mind
Competing with shadows
Expectations gone by
Am I really there at all to her
Or just an effigy to be used, sacrificed
To quill the frigid heart
To remind of a life, a love
There but somehow not
A mirage of someone she used to love
Do I stand as her dream of a man that she needs, but is gone?
To fill a hole she didn’t know existed at all
Or am I a hope for a future she thinks she wants?
The more I try to close the gap
To solidify the ties that bind
The more elusive she becomes
Sliding evermore out of my reach
Like grabbing clouds at Twilight
Chasing images in the thick fog
There yet , not elusive and unobtainable
Regardless of techniques or desire
Do I have a chance at all, really?
Am I chasing ghosts, as elusive as air
Everywhere yet nowhere at the same time
Am I real to her, actually?
Can she really see me… at all?
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
The Wicked Game
Sundered heart, the dreams yet dreamt
A future in the foggy twilight of days yet spent
A purpose undefined, with love not yet given
In moments of passion of a night’s unspent
Will it be her, or will she not be
I question the choices presented before me
Love peace or wealth yet gained
As I am left to dwell and contemplate
Youth, beauty, a passion unwrought
Loyalty, promise, and the prizes I’ve sought
A lifetime leads to this point.. this path
The way is shrouded, so many desires to sate
In the stillness of my own troubled mind
I wonder the irony of the fated design
After a lifetime of silence, suddenly granted a muse
Given a gift, a blessing to live life anew
Choices to make, pathways to choose
So much to gain, so much to lose
Am I wicked for wanting it all?
After so much emptiness, can I breach the wall
To my own heaven, eden unbound
To my personal salvation,
Released by the unforgiving fate
My soul had been bound.
Beauty of the spirit
Beauty of the soul
A Beauty yet experienced
A Beauty to behold
Moments in peace
In love in light
Choices unchosen
Wonders of forbidden nights
I stand in the quiet times
Contemplating times yet to come
Lives yet experienced
Love yet to be won
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Path To Forever
Triple heart the wonder felt
Love actual , all at once
Alone , but not lonely
They kept on coming
Day and night, I was by myself
Yet they wanted me , stalked my
Electronic soul
They came , though I didn’t even know
Their names in the beginning
I met the first, just words on a screen
I fell in love with my imagination
And , an old phorograph
Though we had never met or talked directly
She told me she wanted me but craved
A daddy, lost in her past
Another , who needed a new life, a chance
To forget .. her past , her pain
A soul who was on fire faced the world
She was strong, but alone in herself
A woman who was chased by death
Yet, craved life
So many reasons, so many chances
So many dreams undrempt
Lifetimes of unfulfilled aspirations
Regrets and pain no joy had
Lost denizens of choices made wrong
Travelers searching for redemption
Hoping for renewal, seeking the elusive
Heart and ultimate love
From emptiness to abundance from anguish
To peace, they all come seeking forgiveness
For actions, they had no answer to
And reasons that could not be understood or
Undone
Time marched on , leaving my soul longing
For reconciliation, for desire , for them all
In silent tones, pondered , my weary mind
As each a fallen angel, yet a path of promise
As they grasp for their salvation in my eyes
Made anew in my arms, given solace in my
Touch
All needed peace in a warm embrace
All needed the security of a sure commitment
As they reach for my spirit, promising light
Promising physicality, promising sincerity
Of a loyal partner and a sure friend
As they fought, the rising flood of uncertainty
To gain the one prize , that was the greatest gift that had eluded them all
Home
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Electric Love
Baby, I’m lost
Crying into the dark
Why can’t you see me?
You say you love me
But can you actually care
You swear you want me
You swear you need me
But, will you actually..do you …are you really there?
I keep trying… keep giving
And you take it all
Where is the helping hand
Where is the reciprocating heart?
I keep hoping, begging for a sign
That you need more than my things
That money isn’t all that you crave
That my soul is what you really need..
You found me there in the darkness
Like a midnight star , showing the way
In my lowest time , you were my buoy
You kept me alive, in the turbulent time
You saved me and didn’t even know it
A breath of air, to a gasping man
Who didn’t even know how far gone he was
To you, it was just a encounter, I just a guy
To me, you were a godsend, an angel in the night
I keep holding on, wanting it to be true, right
We have gone through your indifference
Fought through your petty heart
Your jaded soul, you grew beyond your years
To where we are now, on the knifes edge
Each day, will we survive it?
It’s anyone’s guess
But, I keep holding on to the memory
Of the moment we met. Of the sweetness of
the love felt, of your light
Indifference, the compliancy of a love assumed
As you demand attention, gratification of a relationship without actual touch, kiss or voice
I have never been in love with words on a screen
Or an image in my head
You exist in a photo, an idea
An online lover, an electronic obsession
I can’t let go. You haunt my dreams
I have never loved more than I love right now
Yet, are you real at all?
Or will you just disappear like
Dust in a breeze
Leaving nothing but a memory, an image
and a broken heart ..
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Fearful Fate
The rain keeps coming in waves
Of chill and desolate tones
Darkness keeps coming back
Though I chase the clear day
Lightning strikes keep coming
Each time, I think I’m free
It reverberates back to me
Leaving me cold inside
I’m left shocked, each iteration
As the dark clouds keep gathering
No matter how much I crave the
Peaceful sky
I’m left shell-shocked
Cold and feeling disjointed
Each time the rain comes
I’m left a little more dead inside
Standing there wondering
Will it ever pass?
Craving the warmth of the sun
Yet, in that moment, empty
And alone
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Good Man
Acid burned me as it touched My soul
Cauterizing the tattered expectation
As I stood there raw , my heart bared
To the assassin of my desire
Her tone harsh, she took her shot
Not caring, or even realizing the destruction
Her words wrought
We stand alone, each man an island in the darkness
Seek solace in a word, a touch, a smile
Separated from our dream
By the starkness of the bitter reality of life
We start out a wonder to be beheld, life the
gift of the enlightened
Slowly, purposefully, we are reined in
Extinguished, diminished until we are left hollow
Jaded, dissolutioned by the sheer carelessness, we encounter
We become embodiments of that rejection, that pain
Women lament the lack of good men, and yet
They fail to see or understand that
Their words and actions destroy the innocent heart, the loving spirit
Leaving only a bitter shell to pick up the pieces of the soul, they have ripped asunder
Until all that remains is a monster of selfishness and greed
An empty vessel devoid of love or compassion
A creature of their own creation and the perpetrator of this creation ultimately is
Themselves.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Seeking Eve
In Twilight wonder
The faded brilliance left
Me wanting, needing
Something, anything
To fill the void , mitigate
The shadows dwelling in
My sundered existence
Memories of the light
Haunting me, pulling me
Driving me to seek solace
In the walled off places
Hidden in my soul
I chased the spark here and there
Knowing full well the futility of it
As time has taught me the rarity
Of the dawn, once witnessed is unmistakable
Imitation and illusion is not a replacement
It becomes a prison of repetition
A duplication of failure
As I grasp at the real, reach toward the perception
Chase the dream, my mind concocted
As my memory tries in repetitious fashion
To duplicate my experience
To recreate the wonder of it all
To bear witness to the spectacle
The peace that took me as the dawn broke
To purify my tortured journey
Give it purpose, meaning
I traveled long and arduous roads searching
For any place or thing to remind me of that
Moment of Awe, that defined the reason
For standing in the darkness
For being punished for my audacity
To believe I was worthy of the blessing
Of clarity, of being juxtaposed from
A shadowed sub existence to
Having my deepest desire fulfilled
Oh, I have tread this path before to be sure
Even transcended to the light
But , without purpose, without meaning
To give understanding to the moment
It was wasted on a man blinded by ignorance
Stifled by the greed of a miserable past
It prevented the connection to true illumination
Left me empty inside, cold, alone
Each false dawn stole my resolve
Each time the light was taken from me
Destroyed a piece of my spirit until
I was convinced the darkness was all there was
I chased the morning with a longing I can’t readily explain
It has been expressed as brilliance as an awakening
Even a rebirth of sorts, granting new beginnings
However, until you stand witness to it
There are no words to describe
The feeling of the desolation drained
Of the spectacle of sheer joy
You encounter as the loneliness fades
The shadows are banished
Your eyes opened to the wonderous gift
Of the coming dawn
This is what it means to know unconditional love.
This is the actual experience of life.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Question Tomorrow
Moments of loss is where you found me
In the darkness with shadows all around
You called out to my pain
Promising a moment
Of peace
Though the light shown through the dimness
We connected in those moments
We shared a common heart
A common experience
A union of souls
With time, we bonded
Saw the chance of the future
To share the solace of closeness
The promise of unity
Time , an ever-present enemy
Plotted against the prize
To shear away the dream
Separate the reality from the expectation
Words more words, though, never
Actions, as the present lied
To the future, and the past faded
From view, leaving emptiness
It’s only a result. A byproduct of indifference
Where is the purpose
Where is the hope
Lost in moments spent
Alone
When did the darkness return?
Secrets, like cold drops of acid
Burning away the connections
Threats tearing away the dreams
Stumbling blocks placed in the way
Mere objects, money came to block
Promise, as trust was seared away
Chance, or was it predetermined?
Can love endure? Even unconditionally given? Can caring survive contempt?
When loyalty is offered up as a sacrifice for
personal desire?
Is the broken heart ultimately inevitable ?
When we are told what is coming, should we just accept what we are told? What we are shown.
Is that the point where we must just let go?
What about the promise?
What about the dream?
Are we destined for the pain?
What about our past together?
Have we reached a crossroads of fate?
Can we survive this present where you ask without giving, expect without question?
Do you never wonder if maybe you are wrong?
Question your own motives? Wonder if your viewpoint could have been reached in error?
Will love endure?
Will our dream endure?
Will our relationship endure?
When you act, do you ever
Question tomorrow?
Mary Cynthia
Is she the light or the darkness
The touch or the cold alone
Can she reach the tortured soul or remain aloof
Does she light desire or squelch the burning
Flame
Her dark eyes excite the secret obsession
Her body the thing of fevered fantasies
Soft words kindle a lust undeniable
As she shares the secrets most coveted by men
Gifts of passion revelations of future promises
A covenant sworned in terms of forver
An embrace the riches to be experienced
Is she the light or the darkness?
The point moot
There is nothing more desperate
in my soul..
More immediate within my thoughts
Her presence inspires only one emotion
within me
Burning Need
She is my Obsession
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Loss
She appeared like a star
Shining brightly in my life
An impossible discovery
A remarkable gift from the
gods
A wealth untold
A blessing unimagined
I was truly happy for an
Instant
It was like Christmas
Everyday, a gift in a smile
The new chance to begin
Again
If only for a moment hope renewed
Then reality became apparent
She was never there, a mirage
Promise of respite disappeared
I was talking to myself
As her image faded, remove
From the digital space
A facade broken
A lie revealed
Conned by my desire
To be loved, wanted
I sat there for a long time
Just staring a blank screen
My feelings raw, betrayed
I had been played
Sad part is, even knowing that
I still missed the image…
