Lost in my thoughts
Old in years
Young in my mind
Moments living moments
The past is nothing but dreams
Dreams of an instance
That to me just occurred
I live and relive
They just happened to me
An old man a young man
Middle aged it seemed
Time is just an illusion
It’s not real to me
I remember the events
Sequences, places, things
But all of it just happened
Or so it seemed to
Me
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A California Dream
A question left unanswered
As I see the way you do
Your words hollow as you go another way
I’m left out here hanging … just hanging in space
You see, you want what you want, demand what you need
Know what don’t you see? You dont see Me
An empty seat, I’m not present
A man alone.
Did you need me? Did you care?
Were there others who filled my place there?
Professed love left hanging, empty words
A means to an end
Wanted what you wanted
Im just a means to an end.
It’s funny how I believed
Guess I saw what I wanted to see
In the end, there may be others
To fill the place I wanted to be
Know who won’t be there to be filled with pain to see?
Me.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
The Model’s Gift
Here we go again
Darkness black as night
The things I hoped were real
Was it
Or just a lie?
My hopes my needs
Just shadows in relief
I thought it was love
Or was it just a mirage
fooling me
I hoped I prayed
Lost in my own tale
The truth was more blatant
The actual more real
She said the right things
I stupidly believed
For just a moment
I dared to have dreams
Touched … I felt it
I allowed the moment to be
In that instant It was made real
If only to me
Can I trust again
Could I open and be me
To let her know
The actual me?
It’s always been bad
To show them the truth
To step to the light
To let it be
Seen
The shield lowered
If only for a chance
But when it all came in focus
It was more darkness
It made no sense
Empty promises
Golden words lined with tin
Stolen chances
Pain
Again
In the end
What was left ?
Broken promises
And one standing alone
Me
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Many Faces: One Love
I’m lost. As I watch it unfold
I love it, and yet I’m trapped
I want everything, yet I hold
nothing
I have happiness within my grasp
Yet no matter what choice I make
I lose something
Why
Why did I not speak up
Tell the truth
They are looking at me contemplating their sunlight
Only to have shadow fall
Someone has to face the pain
A sword that strikes the innocent heart
As tears reconcile, understanding
Anger to replace sure love
As the facade falls
To reveal the deceit
And betrayal of the hidden
Made plain
Only one
Only one will be mine
As the others face the soul pain
And learn their control was false
Their place a lie, like
Smoke on the wind
Like fog burning off at daybreak
It disappears until
It’s completely…
Gone
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Emptiness: The Winter Darkly
Bleak the ever frost of my heart separates me
Divides me from humanity in ways I can’t yet fanthom or comprehend
Day by day, I fight to give to love to feel something..
Yet time and again words fail me, and I feel cold inside
Left bitter at the betrayal and disrespect empty
When I should have felt longing and regret
for those I lost, I felt nothing
Was it due to some trauma I endured, unaware of its effect on my psyche, my soul?
Or simply was I incapable of the full measure of love others possess?
The winter cold reflects the distance between my soul and the world
Alone in a crowd
Searching for a lifeline
Left staring into the dark mirror of my discontent
An ocean between my troubled heart and the world of light
Cast into a pit of my own experience
Left to ponder what bulwark that divides
Surrounded by beauty calling out to me
My hand stayed by that unseen force
That unkind gulf halting my chance
At normalcy
At redemption
Confounded by my own understanding
That splinter in my brain
Not just the lack
But, knowing that it stems from
A coldness perhaps I was bequeath
At birth, an inheritance of nothingness
That accompanies ones sure knowledge
Of their own humanity
And the sorrow , as you weep for your own fate
The feeling called love a spector
That to me never materializes
And so doesn’t exist at
All
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Only You I Crave
From morning love to afternoon heat
It’s only your body that I need
Whether on the town in Paris
Or anywhere else we happen to be, I’ll be yours
If that’s what you need
In the light of the rising sun
Or twilights last embrace
It’s your lips that I need
It’s your body that I crave
From the moment we met, I knew
The passion a heated thing
Your touch burned with passion
Lips that whispered forever
As love flowed like a spring
It started with a glance
A flirt a moment that could not be ignored
As we fought to understand the feeling
As our clothes fell to the floor
In the light of the rising sun
Or twilights last embrace
It’s your lips that I need
It’s your body that I crave
As winter turned to spring
Then, summers warm embrace
We savored every moments touch
As we stared at each other’s face
Though the years passed as they do
Memories built, experienced, shared
The love of our first moments touch
Still existed there in our secret place
In the light of the rising sun
Or twilights last embrace
It’s your lips that I need
It’s your body that I crave
Whether it’s as two lovers in our youth
Or older people after years of fate
It’s still your lips that I need
And your body that I crave
Memories… of a lifetime
Touches of sheer grace
It’s your lips that I still need
It’s your body I still crave.
An Original Song By H.R. Beebe
Snapshots, Moments and Memories
In the quiet of the night, I see her there
The beauty of her face calling me
Wanting me
Her eyes like jewels, the blue of the sky
Glimming bright and alive
I feel my heart warm as she beckoned me near
Her smile moved me.. her laugh was love
I saw her there in dreams calling to me as we shared an umbrella on a rainy spring day
Oh, how I wanted her as we were caught up in our youth…. in the moment
I snapped her picture, and there was no one else there, just me and her and the spring shower…
Locked in the moment
We loved in the moment
As we shared our youth
The moment
Ourselves
Alive together , we relished
Each other, for an instant, we were one
Closer than friends
Closer than lovers
We shared a bond of youth
A bond of life
A bond of experience
We may never cross paths again
But we experienced life in all its many
Facets, colors, feeling
A marriage of youth
Of life
Of love
A Snapshot, A Moment, A Memory
And in the end, that’s all we really are left with…
Snapshots, Moments, and Memories
A love forever remembered.
An Original Poem By H.R. Beebe
Where The Clouds Gather
With dark expectations, we gathered
With hope fleeting, we challenged the dark knowledge
We surrounded the man whose future laid in the balance
His life narrowed to a few gestures of his hand or a blink of his eye
As his blood poured.. his spirit faded
It’s funny how you can rationalize another’s life away when it isn’t yours
Starvation blatantly on display as thirst dried his aspect.. With two weeks of torture
The man faced the darkness while others fought over his belongings and morality
His time came to an end..the light faded from his eyes as a final breath released
Wailing could be heard as the people rushed to
Witness his departure
The clouds gathered… that August day
And at the moment of his last breath..rain began to fall..as if the very sky shed tears to mark the man’s passing
A man gone..
A memory created
It was a Wednesday
When my father died.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Love Unimagined
Desire
A self-fulfilling reality
Selfish by design
Without a thought of another
A plain blank page
Consideration of nothing
But need in the moment
A use without guilt
Purpose without care
Taking…all that has meaning
Value, worth
Leeching of everything that represents goodness
Until emptiness remains
A life without meaning
Adrift in the void
Of a grey existence
Just another day in a place called
Earth…
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Moment Of Clarity
We are lost in the darkness of an uncertain world
Adrift on seas raging with the unknown
Each moment, an affirmation of our aloneness
We navigate this journey alway afraid of our own choices
Left or right, we ponder in earnest as if our lives hang in the balance
The stress of not knowing is the rub
The Sword of Damocles is always there waiting to end us
As we imagine our own failure of reason
The truth in the thought, the proof in the idea
Failure is only a choice, success as well
The truth is that you choose your path, create your fate
Reality is in the doing, not the image.. not in the fear
Destiny is in our grasp.. when you understand this, you win
And move on.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
