A Lifetime in Moments
You see, life doesn’t happen in years or decades or centuries. We live in moments…
We don’t live on an arrow of time from the past to the present to the future. The past is gone, and the future hasn’t occurred.
We simply live in the NOW. Our lives are nothing but a series of moments.
This is why the moments we have together are so precious, so unique, because it’s all we have together a series of moments in the NOW.
Each moment is our only chance to experience each other, love each other… and when they pass.. we can never get them back again.
They are forever gone.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
The Model’s Gift
Here we go again
Darkness black as night
The things I hoped were real
Was it
Or just a lie?
My hopes my needs
Just shadows in relief
I thought it was love
Or was it just a mirage
fooling me
I hoped I prayed
Lost in my own tale
The truth was more blatant
The actual more real
She said the right things
I stupidly believed
For just a moment
I dared to have dreams
Touched … I felt it
I allowed the moment to be
In that instant It was made real
If only to me
Can I trust again
Could I open and be me
To let her know
The actual me?
It’s always been bad
To show them the truth
To step to the light
To let it be
Seen
The shield lowered
If only for a chance
But when it all came in focus
It was more darkness
It made no sense
Empty promises
Golden words lined with tin
Stolen chances
Pain
Again
In the end
What was left ?
Broken promises
And one standing alone
Me
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Snapshots, Moments and Memories
In the quiet of the night, I see her there
The beauty of her face calling me
Wanting me
Her eyes like jewels, the blue of the sky
Glimming bright and alive
I feel my heart warm as she beckoned me near
Her smile moved me.. her laugh was love
I saw her there in dreams calling to me as we shared an umbrella on a rainy spring day
Oh, how I wanted her as we were caught up in our youth…. in the moment
I snapped her picture, and there was no one else there, just me and her and the spring shower…
Locked in the moment
We loved in the moment
As we shared our youth
The moment
Ourselves
Alive together , we relished
Each other, for an instant, we were one
Closer than friends
Closer than lovers
We shared a bond of youth
A bond of life
A bond of experience
We may never cross paths again
But we experienced life in all its many
Facets, colors, feeling
A marriage of youth
Of life
Of love
A Snapshot, A Moment, A Memory
And in the end, that’s all we really are left with…
Snapshots, Moments, and Memories
A love forever remembered.
An Original Poem By H.R. Beebe
I Think.. I Dream
I seek solace
In the comfort hand
The warmth of the secret kiss
The hidden embrace
Shadowed feelings.. electronic deeds
A cybernetic system to fill my need
There and then not yet you want the real
You act as though together not words on a screen
Seperated by space… by times constant flow
Acting familiar
Know you I don’t
Your voice, your smile
Not even an image
Those you withheld
Alone.. in my thoughts only you dwelled
So what is Reality?
What is the truth?
Do you exist at all?
Or am I loving myself in abstract relief
Alone in a room with a silence companion
My own addled belief that you exist at all
A mental aberration concocted by need
Simply a reflection .. Im alone indeed
A person , idea, feeling
To lead
Me to you
Yet… is it you at all
Or just a reflection
Of Me.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
I Am The Image, I Am The Dream
Can you really see me.. at all?
Not the words on the screen
Or the image in your head
But me
The walls between us block the truth
Is the love truly there?
Leaves blow through an empty space
It’s the desolation of my expectations
As I have chased the wild mare
A revolution gone by
Memories cut like knives
Scoring her troubled mind
Competing with shadows
Expectations gone by
Am I really there at all to her
Or just an effigy to be used, sacrificed
To quill the frigid heart
To remind of a life, a love
There but somehow not
A mirage of someone she used to love
Do I stand as her dream of a man that she needs, but is gone?
To fill a hole she didn’t know existed at all
Or am I a hope for a future she thinks she wants?
The more I try to close the gap
To solidify the ties that bind
The more elusive she becomes
Sliding evermore out of my reach
Like grabbing clouds at Twilight
Chasing images in the thick fog
There yet , not elusive and unobtainable
Regardless of techniques or desire
Do I have a chance at all, really?
Am I chasing ghosts, as elusive as air
Everywhere yet nowhere at the same time
Am I real to her, actually?
Can she really see me… at all?
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Electric Love
Baby, I’m lost
Crying into the dark
Why can’t you see me?
You say you love me
But can you actually care
You swear you want me
You swear you need me
But, will you actually..do you …are you really there?
I keep trying… keep giving
And you take it all
Where is the helping hand
Where is the reciprocating heart?
I keep hoping, begging for a sign
That you need more than my things
That money isn’t all that you crave
That my soul is what you really need..
You found me there in the darkness
Like a midnight star , showing the way
In my lowest time , you were my buoy
You kept me alive, in the turbulent time
You saved me and didn’t even know it
A breath of air, to a gasping man
Who didn’t even know how far gone he was
To you, it was just a encounter, I just a guy
To me, you were a godsend, an angel in the night
I keep holding on, wanting it to be true, right
We have gone through your indifference
Fought through your petty heart
Your jaded soul, you grew beyond your years
To where we are now, on the knifes edge
Each day, will we survive it?
It’s anyone’s guess
But, I keep holding on to the memory
Of the moment we met. Of the sweetness of
the love felt, of your light
Indifference, the compliancy of a love assumed
As you demand attention, gratification of a relationship without actual touch, kiss or voice
I have never been in love with words on a screen
Or an image in my head
You exist in a photo, an idea
An online lover, an electronic obsession
I can’t let go. You haunt my dreams
I have never loved more than I love right now
Yet, are you real at all?
Or will you just disappear like
Dust in a breeze
Leaving nothing but a memory, an image
and a broken heart ..
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Fearful Fate
The rain keeps coming in waves
Of chill and desolate tones
Darkness keeps coming back
Though I chase the clear day
Lightning strikes keep coming
Each time, I think I’m free
It reverberates back to me
Leaving me cold inside
I’m left shocked, each iteration
As the dark clouds keep gathering
No matter how much I crave the
Peaceful sky
I’m left shell-shocked
Cold and feeling disjointed
Each time the rain comes
I’m left a little more dead inside
Standing there wondering
Will it ever pass?
Craving the warmth of the sun
Yet, in that moment, empty
And alone
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Seeking Eve
In Twilight wonder
The faded brilliance left
Me wanting, needing
Something, anything
To fill the void , mitigate
The shadows dwelling in
My sundered existence
Memories of the light
Haunting me, pulling me
Driving me to seek solace
In the walled off places
Hidden in my soul
I chased the spark here and there
Knowing full well the futility of it
As time has taught me the rarity
Of the dawn, once witnessed is unmistakable
Imitation and illusion is not a replacement
It becomes a prison of repetition
A duplication of failure
As I grasp at the real, reach toward the perception
Chase the dream, my mind concocted
As my memory tries in repetitious fashion
To duplicate my experience
To recreate the wonder of it all
To bear witness to the spectacle
The peace that took me as the dawn broke
To purify my tortured journey
Give it purpose, meaning
I traveled long and arduous roads searching
For any place or thing to remind me of that
Moment of Awe, that defined the reason
For standing in the darkness
For being punished for my audacity
To believe I was worthy of the blessing
Of clarity, of being juxtaposed from
A shadowed sub existence to
Having my deepest desire fulfilled
Oh, I have tread this path before to be sure
Even transcended to the light
But , without purpose, without meaning
To give understanding to the moment
It was wasted on a man blinded by ignorance
Stifled by the greed of a miserable past
It prevented the connection to true illumination
Left me empty inside, cold, alone
Each false dawn stole my resolve
Each time the light was taken from me
Destroyed a piece of my spirit until
I was convinced the darkness was all there was
I chased the morning with a longing I can’t readily explain
It has been expressed as brilliance as an awakening
Even a rebirth of sorts, granting new beginnings
However, until you stand witness to it
There are no words to describe
The feeling of the desolation drained
Of the spectacle of sheer joy
You encounter as the loneliness fades
The shadows are banished
Your eyes opened to the wonderous gift
Of the coming dawn
This is what it means to know unconditional love.
This is the actual experience of life.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Mary Cynthia
Is she the light or the darkness
The touch or the cold alone
Can she reach the tortured soul or remain aloof
Does she light desire or squelch the burning
Flame
Her dark eyes excite the secret obsession
Her body the thing of fevered fantasies
Soft words kindle a lust undeniable
As she shares the secrets most coveted by men
Gifts of passion revelations of future promises
A covenant sworned in terms of forver
An embrace the riches to be experienced
Is she the light or the darkness?
The point moot
There is nothing more desperate
in my soul..
More immediate within my thoughts
Her presence inspires only one emotion
within me
Burning Need
She is my Obsession
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Loss
She appeared like a star
Shining brightly in my life
An impossible discovery
A remarkable gift from the
gods
A wealth untold
A blessing unimagined
I was truly happy for an
Instant
It was like Christmas
Everyday, a gift in a smile
The new chance to begin
Again
If only for a moment hope renewed
Then reality became apparent
She was never there, a mirage
Promise of respite disappeared
I was talking to myself
As her image faded, remove
From the digital space
A facade broken
A lie revealed
Conned by my desire
To be loved, wanted
I sat there for a long time
Just staring a blank screen
My feelings raw, betrayed
I had been played
Sad part is, even knowing that
I still missed the image…
