The dawn darkened by the eclipse
As my world fell in down
Everything I had held dear
Lost to the lie of light
Just when I thought she was real
I trusted her light even though I guess
I knew … deep down knew her true nature
Like you know, the dark clouds bring rain
I thought… maybe this time, the sun would shine even as the wind rose I held on
From the false dawn of her appearance
I held on to my belief, like a dry man thinks the mirage is true
I kept reaching out for the illusion of water
Illusion of light as I saw what I thought an angel
Who had saved my black heart in the lowest moment
My darkest time, she appeared
Sweet nectar flowing from her continuance
Beauty radiated from her light
I was taken, a man desperate for a dream
Lost in a decade of meaninglessness
My future just ashes burned up by reality
My hopes sundered by truth in the moment
A cliff to oblivion stretched before my eyes
A lie appeared dressed as a dream
A lie in the form of salvation
Appeared to offer a moments relief
Time ceased to have meaning
I stood in the steel hard rain
Alone in my understanding
Alone in my despair
Resigned to my fate
As a tear escaped my will
She appeared a gold image
A fiery vision of a chance
She whispered, hope
Spoke of desire… spoke of need
An image of an angel
Her secret is a devilish deed
You see the devil is in the details
The lies so close to the truth
The devil was once an angel, too
Desire was a lasso made of gold
She whispered love and caring
As she took her fill gave nothing
But the truth of her betrayal
Narcissistic in her endeavors
Control in her intent
The moment revealed
Demonic actions
Promise changed in an instant to pain
Hope to loss indeed
The sunrise I had been chasing
Was a false dawn seen
As the storm clouds gathered
Hard steel rain intervened
My Savior a villain
My salvation was a pipedream
The lesson taught is
Never trust a
Dream
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
The Model’s Gift
Here we go again
Darkness black as night
The things I hoped were real
Was it
Or just a lie?
My hopes my needs
Just shadows in relief
I thought it was love
Or was it just a mirage
fooling me
I hoped I prayed
Lost in my own tale
The truth was more blatant
The actual more real
She said the right things
I stupidly believed
For just a moment
I dared to have dreams
Touched … I felt it
I allowed the moment to be
In that instant It was made real
If only to me
Can I trust again
Could I open and be me
To let her know
The actual me?
It’s always been bad
To show them the truth
To step to the light
To let it be
Seen
The shield lowered
If only for a chance
But when it all came in focus
It was more darkness
It made no sense
Empty promises
Golden words lined with tin
Stolen chances
Pain
Again
In the end
What was left ?
Broken promises
And one standing alone
Me
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Emptiness: The Winter Darkly
Bleak the ever frost of my heart separates me
Divides me from humanity in ways I can’t yet fanthom or comprehend
Day by day, I fight to give to love to feel something..
Yet time and again words fail me, and I feel cold inside
Left bitter at the betrayal and disrespect empty
When I should have felt longing and regret
for those I lost, I felt nothing
Was it due to some trauma I endured, unaware of its effect on my psyche, my soul?
Or simply was I incapable of the full measure of love others possess?
The winter cold reflects the distance between my soul and the world
Alone in a crowd
Searching for a lifeline
Left staring into the dark mirror of my discontent
An ocean between my troubled heart and the world of light
Cast into a pit of my own experience
Left to ponder what bulwark that divides
Surrounded by beauty calling out to me
My hand stayed by that unseen force
That unkind gulf halting my chance
At normalcy
At redemption
Confounded by my own understanding
That splinter in my brain
Not just the lack
But, knowing that it stems from
A coldness perhaps I was bequeath
At birth, an inheritance of nothingness
That accompanies ones sure knowledge
Of their own humanity
And the sorrow , as you weep for your own fate
The feeling called love a spector
That to me never materializes
And so doesn’t exist at
All
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Love Unimagined
Desire
A self-fulfilling reality
Selfish by design
Without a thought of another
A plain blank page
Consideration of nothing
But need in the moment
A use without guilt
Purpose without care
Taking…all that has meaning
Value, worth
Leeching of everything that represents goodness
Until emptiness remains
A life without meaning
Adrift in the void
Of a grey existence
Just another day in a place called
Earth…
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Moment Of Clarity
We are lost in the darkness of an uncertain world
Adrift on seas raging with the unknown
Each moment, an affirmation of our aloneness
We navigate this journey alway afraid of our own choices
Left or right, we ponder in earnest as if our lives hang in the balance
The stress of not knowing is the rub
The Sword of Damocles is always there waiting to end us
As we imagine our own failure of reason
The truth in the thought, the proof in the idea
Failure is only a choice, success as well
The truth is that you choose your path, create your fate
Reality is in the doing, not the image.. not in the fear
Destiny is in our grasp.. when you understand this, you win
And move on.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Encounters
Sometimes, we are lost in the moment
Caught up in the flow
Adrift in our own existence
Too focused to know
We have moved forward
But, not yet perceived
That we left behind that moment
And those we thought we need
Touching spirits for an instant
To gain insight
To gain hope
Then faded those connections
Like mist at dawn
Burned away by the rising sun
Until just memories remain
And in time, even they are gone
Need is a powerful thing
A motivator grasping for gain
Until we understand
We already have everything
The emptiness is an illusion
The encounter preordained
The experience was inevitable
As the Spring rain
Life is a series of moments
That has been given since time began
To be savioured and learned from
Then, it is released as you move on
Those we encounter…meet along the path
They were sent there to teach a lesson
Abundance is within you
It’s always been in the palm of your hand.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Genocidal Justification
Lost in ideology
Hypothetical hypocrisy
Holding your moral flag high
In the face of righteous indignation
To justify misdeeds in the name of societal solidity
As calls for genocide are framed as righteous
But, only if it’s one sided
We are left to ponder the value of a people
Or a thought that can so easily justify
Bloodshed in the name of a religion
While discounting an entire people
Terror from on high or terror in the streets
What constitutes morality if you can use those you represent as a ward against retribution?
If life means so little how can you claim
A moral superiority?
To create the very bloodshed of the ones
You claim to defend, are you the really protecting anyone at all?
Accept your own agenda?
People reduced to cattle to be herded, used
Their lives nothing but expendable for political gains.
Tell me how your cause is just as you murder, hurt, rape and maim
You attack , then blame victims for your actions
Narcissistic to the extreme
As you gaslight the world to agree
That your barbarism was justified
As you demonize those you brutalized
Toxic in the extreme
Like an abusive spouse shouting to justify your means
You only show the true darkness in your souls
As the victims fight back you can’t
Hold your moral high ground
And trumpet your righteous actions
When first it was their blood you spilled on the ground.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
I Think.. I Dream
I seek solace
In the comfort hand
The warmth of the secret kiss
The hidden embrace
Shadowed feelings.. electronic deeds
A cybernetic system to fill my need
There and then not yet you want the real
You act as though together not words on a screen
Seperated by space… by times constant flow
Acting familiar
Know you I don’t
Your voice, your smile
Not even an image
Those you withheld
Alone.. in my thoughts only you dwelled
So what is Reality?
What is the truth?
Do you exist at all?
Or am I loving myself in abstract relief
Alone in a room with a silence companion
My own addled belief that you exist at all
A mental aberration concocted by need
Simply a reflection .. Im alone indeed
A person , idea, feeling
To lead
Me to you
Yet… is it you at all
Or just a reflection
Of Me.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Radical Idea… Freedom
I question their purpose
In challenging the moment
Their continence hate
The people of fate
Anti truth they purport
As they create their facade
Of the their own darkness
Projecting it, creating it
Ever evil manifested
An image recreated again.. and again
The shadow of life, antithesis of light
In monstrous presence, to intimidate
Their word kill apparent to end debate
They believe this tactic new
Actions to late to matter
Announcing true nature in oral hate
They come like Denizens of the dark
To steal the resolve of the strong
Kill the free heart in a deluge of the idiots peril. Logic lacking the rely on blood letting
To silence the bold spirit
To eliminate the resistant will
As the bulwark maintains the line
The past testified the persistent message
Our fathers words echo clear
From that dark fate survived
They call to us to remember
The legacy they left
Behind
And the price they paid
For our
Lives.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Innocence Lost
A spark of insight
The wonder revered
As so many chased it
Yet so few understood
The nature of their desire
Fated in silence
Years passed them alone
As they wandered searching for meaning
Lost in a facade built to misdirect
To confuse them
Illusions of grandeur
Hidden in lies of benefit
Being the boss, only to show they weren’t
Thinking they had value
Only to find they were the discarded dream
Used then left to fade away
As age slowly takes them
Leaving … the empty , disjointed, the lost
The Truth finally appears
That it all was a scam, a misdirection, a promise of lacking, wanting
They followed the false idol
Of the physical ..
Abused the moment in hopes of the dream
Yet years became unforgiving masters
Yoking them to the image
Wrought in self abuse
Dissolutioned by their experiences
As reality raped them again and again
Breaking hope , sundering their souls
A gift of despair, an inheritance of hate
Bequeathed for the weary hearts that
Traveled the bitter lane
Their youth extinguished as the Seconds
Dragged forward day passing to day
A moment at a time.. forced to live a present that a past future delegated
In the silences of each twilight
The glimmers of promise perish
As their legacy is revealed
The scope of the deception finally
Apparent
As the darkness engulfs them
Closing in on every side
The idea slowly fades
Leaving the nothing… in its place.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
