Bleak the ever frost of my heart separates me
Divides me from humanity in ways I can’t yet fanthom or comprehend
Day by day, I fight to give to love to feel something..
Yet time and again words fail me, and I feel cold inside
Left bitter at the betrayal and disrespect empty
When I should have felt longing and regret
for those I lost, I felt nothing
Was it due to some trauma I endured, unaware of its effect on my psyche, my soul?
Or simply was I incapable of the full measure of love others possess?
The winter cold reflects the distance between my soul and the world
Alone in a crowd
Searching for a lifeline
Left staring into the dark mirror of my discontent
An ocean between my troubled heart and the world of light
Cast into a pit of my own experience
Left to ponder what bulwark that divides
Surrounded by beauty calling out to me
My hand stayed by that unseen force
That unkind gulf halting my chance
At normalcy
At redemption
Confounded by my own understanding
That splinter in my brain
Not just the lack
But, knowing that it stems from
A coldness perhaps I was bequeath
At birth, an inheritance of nothingness
That accompanies ones sure knowledge
Of their own humanity
And the sorrow , as you weep for your own fate
The feeling called love a spector
That to me never materializes
And so doesn’t exist at
All
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Snapshots, Moments and Memories
In the quiet of the night, I see her there
The beauty of her face calling me
Wanting me
Her eyes like jewels, the blue of the sky
Glimming bright and alive
I feel my heart warm as she beckoned me near
Her smile moved me.. her laugh was love
I saw her there in dreams calling to me as we shared an umbrella on a rainy spring day
Oh, how I wanted her as we were caught up in our youth…. in the moment
I snapped her picture, and there was no one else there, just me and her and the spring shower…
Locked in the moment
We loved in the moment
As we shared our youth
The moment
Ourselves
Alive together , we relished
Each other, for an instant, we were one
Closer than friends
Closer than lovers
We shared a bond of youth
A bond of life
A bond of experience
We may never cross paths again
But we experienced life in all its many
Facets, colors, feeling
A marriage of youth
Of life
Of love
A Snapshot, A Moment, A Memory
And in the end, that’s all we really are left with…
Snapshots, Moments, and Memories
A love forever remembered.
An Original Poem By H.R. Beebe
Where The Clouds Gather
With dark expectations, we gathered
With hope fleeting, we challenged the dark knowledge
We surrounded the man whose future laid in the balance
His life narrowed to a few gestures of his hand or a blink of his eye
As his blood poured.. his spirit faded
It’s funny how you can rationalize another’s life away when it isn’t yours
Starvation blatantly on display as thirst dried his aspect.. With two weeks of torture
The man faced the darkness while others fought over his belongings and morality
His time came to an end..the light faded from his eyes as a final breath released
Wailing could be heard as the people rushed to
Witness his departure
The clouds gathered… that August day
And at the moment of his last breath..rain began to fall..as if the very sky shed tears to mark the man’s passing
A man gone..
A memory created
It was a Wednesday
When my father died.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Moment Of Clarity
We are lost in the darkness of an uncertain world
Adrift on seas raging with the unknown
Each moment, an affirmation of our aloneness
We navigate this journey alway afraid of our own choices
Left or right, we ponder in earnest as if our lives hang in the balance
The stress of not knowing is the rub
The Sword of Damocles is always there waiting to end us
As we imagine our own failure of reason
The truth in the thought, the proof in the idea
Failure is only a choice, success as well
The truth is that you choose your path, create your fate
Reality is in the doing, not the image.. not in the fear
Destiny is in our grasp.. when you understand this, you win
And move on.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Encounters
Sometimes, we are lost in the moment
Caught up in the flow
Adrift in our own existence
Too focused to know
We have moved forward
But, not yet perceived
That we left behind that moment
And those we thought we need
Touching spirits for an instant
To gain insight
To gain hope
Then faded those connections
Like mist at dawn
Burned away by the rising sun
Until just memories remain
And in time, even they are gone
Need is a powerful thing
A motivator grasping for gain
Until we understand
We already have everything
The emptiness is an illusion
The encounter preordained
The experience was inevitable
As the Spring rain
Life is a series of moments
That has been given since time began
To be savioured and learned from
Then, it is released as you move on
Those we encounter…meet along the path
They were sent there to teach a lesson
Abundance is within you
It’s always been in the palm of your hand.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
I Think.. I Dream
I seek solace
In the comfort hand
The warmth of the secret kiss
The hidden embrace
Shadowed feelings.. electronic deeds
A cybernetic system to fill my need
There and then not yet you want the real
You act as though together not words on a screen
Seperated by space… by times constant flow
Acting familiar
Know you I don’t
Your voice, your smile
Not even an image
Those you withheld
Alone.. in my thoughts only you dwelled
So what is Reality?
What is the truth?
Do you exist at all?
Or am I loving myself in abstract relief
Alone in a room with a silence companion
My own addled belief that you exist at all
A mental aberration concocted by need
Simply a reflection .. Im alone indeed
A person , idea, feeling
To lead
Me to you
Yet… is it you at all
Or just a reflection
Of Me.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Innocence Lost
A spark of insight
The wonder revered
As so many chased it
Yet so few understood
The nature of their desire
Fated in silence
Years passed them alone
As they wandered searching for meaning
Lost in a facade built to misdirect
To confuse them
Illusions of grandeur
Hidden in lies of benefit
Being the boss, only to show they weren’t
Thinking they had value
Only to find they were the discarded dream
Used then left to fade away
As age slowly takes them
Leaving … the empty , disjointed, the lost
The Truth finally appears
That it all was a scam, a misdirection, a promise of lacking, wanting
They followed the false idol
Of the physical ..
Abused the moment in hopes of the dream
Yet years became unforgiving masters
Yoking them to the image
Wrought in self abuse
Dissolutioned by their experiences
As reality raped them again and again
Breaking hope , sundering their souls
A gift of despair, an inheritance of hate
Bequeathed for the weary hearts that
Traveled the bitter lane
Their youth extinguished as the Seconds
Dragged forward day passing to day
A moment at a time.. forced to live a present that a past future delegated
In the silences of each twilight
The glimmers of promise perish
As their legacy is revealed
The scope of the deception finally
Apparent
As the darkness engulfs them
Closing in on every side
The idea slowly fades
Leaving the nothing… in its place.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Lux… Redux
Slipstream shadows
Wraith the passing mist
Lost in the empty nothingness
Of the odd
Moments pass in the brutal silence
Of forgotten lonely places
Peace sundered by an instant of
Truth… it all can pass
Blink from existence
Flash of clarity we are all temporary
Moments to come
Moments to go
Shadows really
Here then gone
Nothing left but an empty space
Where something had been
An hour a day
Lost in the past
Existing in the now
Eclipsed in tomorrow
Mere ashes, remnants
Creatures of the luminescent
Denizens of the mist
Energy passing to everlasting
As our forms fade
Taken by the forward fate
We leave this time… this space
The dust of its place
And move
On
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
I Am The Image, I Am The Dream
Can you really see me.. at all?
Not the words on the screen
Or the image in your head
But me
The walls between us block the truth
Is the love truly there?
Leaves blow through an empty space
It’s the desolation of my expectations
As I have chased the wild mare
A revolution gone by
Memories cut like knives
Scoring her troubled mind
Competing with shadows
Expectations gone by
Am I really there at all to her
Or just an effigy to be used, sacrificed
To quill the frigid heart
To remind of a life, a love
There but somehow not
A mirage of someone she used to love
Do I stand as her dream of a man that she needs, but is gone?
To fill a hole she didn’t know existed at all
Or am I a hope for a future she thinks she wants?
The more I try to close the gap
To solidify the ties that bind
The more elusive she becomes
Sliding evermore out of my reach
Like grabbing clouds at Twilight
Chasing images in the thick fog
There yet , not elusive and unobtainable
Regardless of techniques or desire
Do I have a chance at all, really?
Am I chasing ghosts, as elusive as air
Everywhere yet nowhere at the same time
Am I real to her, actually?
Can she really see me… at all?
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Path To Forever
Triple heart the wonder felt
Love actual , all at once
Alone , but not lonely
They kept on coming
Day and night, I was by myself
Yet they wanted me , stalked my
Electronic soul
They came , though I didn’t even know
Their names in the beginning
I met the first, just words on a screen
I fell in love with my imagination
And , an old phorograph
Though we had never met or talked directly
She told me she wanted me but craved
A daddy, lost in her past
Another , who needed a new life, a chance
To forget .. her past , her pain
A soul who was on fire faced the world
She was strong, but alone in herself
A woman who was chased by death
Yet, craved life
So many reasons, so many chances
So many dreams undrempt
Lifetimes of unfulfilled aspirations
Regrets and pain no joy had
Lost denizens of choices made wrong
Travelers searching for redemption
Hoping for renewal, seeking the elusive
Heart and ultimate love
From emptiness to abundance from anguish
To peace, they all come seeking forgiveness
For actions, they had no answer to
And reasons that could not be understood or
Undone
Time marched on , leaving my soul longing
For reconciliation, for desire , for them all
In silent tones, pondered , my weary mind
As each a fallen angel, yet a path of promise
As they grasp for their salvation in my eyes
Made anew in my arms, given solace in my
Touch
All needed peace in a warm embrace
All needed the security of a sure commitment
As they reach for my spirit, promising light
Promising physicality, promising sincerity
Of a loyal partner and a sure friend
As they fought, the rising flood of uncertainty
To gain the one prize , that was the greatest gift that had eluded them all
Home
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
