Empty words with golden desire
Promised warmth marked cold motivation
Hollow platitudes , for self desire
Truth is in the verbal persuasion
Of Narcissistic need
Hidden among flowery language
And self-serving intent
Gone are the loving attitudes
Promises of future mental intimacy
Accusatory assault replaces warm expectations
The real monster rears its head
Shrugging off the masquerade of care
The mask of compassion
Revealing the true purpose
Fiduciary endeavor , the bitter pill
Money is the need
And, I but a means to an end
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
My Dark Fate: Each Moment Alone
Silence , louder than a gunshot
The pulse of emptiness, my constant companion
It’s the lonely heart that is maddening
As darkness becomes life
In contemplation of broken expectation
Repetitious moments of nothingness
As time stretches
Surety becomes insolence
Indifference a witness
Of events, yet material
The truth is a bitter pill
As promises become monotonous rout
In the face of steel cold expectation
Yet , never made real
Assurances ring hollow
As each grain of sand descends
Tick, tick, tick
Ringing like a gong in my brain
Though, in truth, passes in silence
A dream though held dear, yet in vain?
Once more, I’m left wanting… needing…
Believing in the shining contemplation
The image of the fortunate
Drunk on the wine of the amorous soul
Yet, betrayed by my foolish fate
Adrift on the questioning tide
Of Indifference
Each day I wake , pursuing a future
That exists in a flux on ambiguity
Like mists at dawn, fleeting
Ethereal
Unreal
Such is my witness
Each experience, flavorless
Unsubstantiated
Unrequited
Never reciprocated
I exist, survive the onslaught
Of inner demons
As they celebrate my misery
Cheer my pain
As the beauty I pursue seems oblivious
Of my tortured existence
My doubtful gaze
I suffer in silence
With baited breath
And hope against hope
My emotional wounds are self-inflicted
Rather than a Damocles blade
To strike my already broken and battered soul
Shattering a future yet written
A fate left undreamed.
An Original Poem By H.R. Beebe
Forward Toward Dawn
Chasing my dreams
Forbidden themes
Things I shouldn’t desire
Are they beyond my reach?
Conspired against me
They strive to quell the stream
Stop the flow
Force me to quit, to leave
You can’t win. Who are you to have needs?
You can’t succeed
Through the mired planes, I thread forward
By myself, I moved silently
Dark Thoughts forged by darker deeds
Forced to stand even alone
On the path of the truth
Wherever it leads
Never waver, never falter
Toward the finish, I must seek
True wisdom is not in the known
The word or the deed
It’s found in the silence
An the rustle of the leaves
An internal journey
Made just for me
“I don’t know. ” … is the beginning
Of the understanding that I need.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Sometimes I’m Just Alone
Sometimes, I’m just alone
Even when others are near
Lost in a crowd, people
Talking, but no one hears
I stand by myself
Though others claim to care
They just want what they want
But when I tell them what I want, they just stare
Love.. what is love? Just a over used word
A narcissistic endeavor
Chasing someone else’s dream
It’s my nightmare
Silence, when I need a friend
No one is there
They chase their golden rings
Fair? What is fair?
Sometimes, I’m just alone
Even when others are near
Lost in a crowd of people
Talking, but no one hears
Forty or fifty or seventy-five years
Chasing a mirage of other people’s things
You marry, you change , you compromise
You lose yourself, not realizing your blind
Thought you’d make a difference
Change the world
See new sights
But alias, it was all an illusion, just smoke and mirrors mere lies
As you look back at your journey
The paths of your life
You see the truth
It was all a waste of
Time.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Dying of the Light
Lost in a whirlwind
Adrift in need to heal
To renew
Desire unfulfilled
Can it be again?
Long time dead
Feeling empty
Cold
Left to my solitude
I remain in a status
Of the mundane
I existed
Yet did I live?
I had the semblance
None of the zeal
Flat lined normalcy
I felt nothing
Not love
Not hate
Indifference colored in shades of gray
Craving
Something to fight for
As I tripped the moral coil
I was just present
Like a kid in the back of the classroom
I paid little attention to the stream of days
Years as they wheeled by in cycle
I was alone in myself
I justified my purgatory
As a duty
A commitment
A relationship
Though in truth, it was simply easy
Familiar self abuse
To experience or rather not experience
Anything
Could I justify ambivalence?
My scattered soul?
My lacking realization
I knew true insanity… the insanity of those who simply remain
As time passed I (saw) my worthless plight
In the mirror of my regret
A decade separated from myself
Suffering the nothingness in silent resignation
My illusion, a facade of complacency
Self-imposed isolation
A death nell of a love that never really was
My future the road less traveled
For fear of abandoning dreams
Scattered remnants of hopes that are long desiccated
I took the first step in the wake of a death
A pain spared by the grave
Thanos mercy the cruelest respite
Not to see the devastation
Of the loss
The truth laid bare
The fear unfelt
As the once bright flame
Finally died
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Measure of a Man
A man of unbridled will
Unwilling to compromise
My life for any
I wake the day to blaze my own path
Not looking back to past failures losses
I live for this moment
People come and they go
I am unwilling to bend to the selfish heart
Or the narcissistic desire
Life is what it is
A gift to be taken if you are bold enough
To rush the fearful unknown
You live in this moment
Or die for past regret
Charge forward toward the places
Angels fear to tread
Bold courage is the power to be wielded
Fear a thing ridiculed by action
Unwavering determination
Marks a life well
Lived
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
A Momentary Kindness
The value of a heart
Transcendent dreams unfettered
By thoughts of mortality
Consideration of tomorrow
Alive with the moment
As newness reverberates
Through the fertile Spring
No question of choice or experience
Just action , taking the prize
With baited breath, silent anticipation
Taboo expectations accompany
Reckless abandon
Tomorrows, unthought of
The past a shadowed phantom
Adrift in realization of the now
The Secret agreed upon
Ecstatic occurrence in present relief
Emotions unconsidered
Consequences rendered moot
Tender darkness , the gift of fate
Wealth of uttered breath
Whispered thanks to no one
Warm the brief embrace
To ward against the bitter emptiness
Three shared the respite
Together, alone, cold the passage
Traveled in silence
Souls wept
Separated, by distance
Frozen in memory
Shared a moment , a kindness
Lost to the grave
The road less traveled
The time long passed
Nevermore experienced
In the end, nothing lasts
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
