Sometimes, the dark
Is the reason for the light
The pain of loneliness
Gives way to the peace
Of finding another heart
In the day to day
We move through time
Hoping for the high road
A chance to live better
Want better
Even when you live alone
In the moment
The hope is there
For a chance at more
Better
After giving everything you can
The hope is still there
A chance for understanding
A chance for love
To get moments
I suffered for
Yearned for
A lifetime of living for another
Living as someone else
Never for myself
Just me
Change meant letting go
Of the pain
Of the past
Change meant walking away
From who I was
To finally become
Who I want to be
To finally become
Me
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Illusions of the Real
Places in Time
Experiences of static reality
As the moments tick by
We exist in a bubble
A bubble of self-absorbed reality
Of our own creation
Our own belief
Not what is no no
Lost in what we think
Objective truth is foreign
To our selfish desire
To be lost In our own revelry
Alone in what we see
Each an island unto their own instances
Their own creations
What is right or wrong?
As they forge their own path
Embark on their own journey
Alone in their delusions of grandeur
Believing their own illusion
Accepting their own lies
Until one day, they see the truth
They never really experienced
Real life
At
All
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Dying Of The Light: Rage Against The Enemy Of Discontent
Made hard by life, by lack
Left alone to endure the cold places
Empty times when I trekked the storm blown plains
Plains of my own lost journey
When I was banished from my own existence
My own life
My own family
I, a stranger in familiarity
Known as the villain in my own saga
Challenged fate cursed the moment
Raised my fist to the sky
In the darkest of days , fear an enemy yet one the I dominated
As I stared down the hated gaze of my detractors
Shouted (Never!) To those wanton haters
That demanded submission, compliance
If I took a knee , it was in prayer
A prayer of strength
Of victory over the conquistadors of my belligerent adversaries
I will not go quietly
Surrendering to those who seek to author my fate, design my demise
I move forward against the bitter deluge
The violent winds
The angry sky
The storm is coming, the die is cast
War against the anarchist of my discontent inevitable
I stare into the tempest
My gaze locked on the future
As others falter in the progression of their moral intent
With my head up… my motivation, a righteous certainty
Endurance a surety
Embolden by my conviction
I Rise
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Echos Of Eden: In The Spaces In-between
Echos of eden
In the garden of discontent
Lost innocence in the electronic spaces
Alone in the spaces between electrons and life
As the transients of the new age suffer unrequited love
Wandering aimlessly, the web of uncertainty
Seeking, searching their golden moments
Instants of connection, moments of solace
Connections of mental communion
Or physical ardor
Alone in the crowd, a soul among many
Wanting, needing …. something
A patriarchal reminisce
A matriarchal memory
Healing that empty cold experience
Or to forget the treasonous moment
And the fact they were abandoned by life
Separated by distances by languages by blood
Realizations become evidence
Evidence becomes clearity
The world is simply a grand illusion
The actual truth is it isn’t really here
At all.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Witless Reflections:The Narcissistic Soul
A question of fidelity
The distance a bulwark against the truth
As a wall erected by her conceit
Hidden secrets, half whispered in silence
Of the lack of information of intimate knowledge
Promises of transparency in the face of stony emptiness
A face, a smile, an image of the past
As few present images are granted
As platinum need apparent
Colored by the petitioning heart
Trepidation ruled my consciousness
As I surmised my worth
A lover? A friend? A lifelong companion?
The drumbeat of my true purpose laid bare
I am the answer to a question, a means to an end
A solution to a dilemma
I’m an unwitting man
Who reached for love
But became a benefactor of a narcissistic soul.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
My Dark Fate: Each Moment Alone
Silence , louder than a gunshot
The pulse of emptiness, my constant companion
It’s the lonely heart that is maddening
As darkness becomes life
In contemplation of broken expectation
Repetitious moments of nothingness
As time stretches
Surety becomes insolence
Indifference a witness
Of events, yet material
The truth is a bitter pill
As promises become monotonous rout
In the face of steel cold expectation
Yet , never made real
Assurances ring hollow
As each grain of sand descends
Tick, tick, tick
Ringing like a gong in my brain
Though, in truth, passes in silence
A dream though held dear, yet in vain?
Once more, I’m left wanting… needing…
Believing in the shining contemplation
The image of the fortunate
Drunk on the wine of the amorous soul
Yet, betrayed by my foolish fate
Adrift on the questioning tide
Of Indifference
Each day I wake , pursuing a future
That exists in a flux on ambiguity
Like mists at dawn, fleeting
Ethereal
Unreal
Such is my witness
Each experience, flavorless
Unsubstantiated
Unrequited
Never reciprocated
I exist, survive the onslaught
Of inner demons
As they celebrate my misery
Cheer my pain
As the beauty I pursue seems oblivious
Of my tortured existence
My doubtful gaze
I suffer in silence
With baited breath
And hope against hope
My emotional wounds are self-inflicted
Rather than a Damocles blade
To strike my already broken and battered soul
Shattering a future yet written
A fate left undreamed.
An Original Poem By H.R. Beebe
Forward Toward Dawn
Chasing my dreams
Forbidden themes
Things I shouldn’t desire
Are they beyond my reach?
Conspired against me
They strive to quell the stream
Stop the flow
Force me to quit, to leave
You can’t win. Who are you to have needs?
You can’t succeed
Through the mired planes, I thread forward
By myself, I moved silently
Dark Thoughts forged by darker deeds
Forced to stand even alone
On the path of the truth
Wherever it leads
Never waver, never falter
Toward the finish, I must seek
True wisdom is not in the known
The word or the deed
It’s found in the silence
An the rustle of the leaves
An internal journey
Made just for me
“I don’t know. ” … is the beginning
Of the understanding that I need.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Sometimes I’m Just Alone
Sometimes, I’m just alone
Even when others are near
Lost in a crowd, people
Talking, but no one hears
I stand by myself
Though others claim to care
They just want what they want
But when I tell them what I want, they just stare
Love.. what is love? Just a over used word
A narcissistic endeavor
Chasing someone else’s dream
It’s my nightmare
Silence, when I need a friend
No one is there
They chase their golden rings
Fair? What is fair?
Sometimes, I’m just alone
Even when others are near
Lost in a crowd of people
Talking, but no one hears
Forty or fifty or seventy-five years
Chasing a mirage of other people’s things
You marry, you change , you compromise
You lose yourself, not realizing your blind
Thought you’d make a difference
Change the world
See new sights
But alias, it was all an illusion, just smoke and mirrors mere lies
As you look back at your journey
The paths of your life
You see the truth
It was all a waste of
Time.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Dying of the Light
Lost in a whirlwind
Adrift in need to heal
To renew
Desire unfulfilled
Can it be again?
Long time dead
Feeling empty
Cold
Left to my solitude
I remain in a status
Of the mundane
I existed
Yet did I live?
I had the semblance
None of the zeal
Flat lined normalcy
I felt nothing
Not love
Not hate
Indifference colored in shades of gray
Craving
Something to fight for
As I tripped the moral coil
I was just present
Like a kid in the back of the classroom
I paid little attention to the stream of days
Years as they wheeled by in cycle
I was alone in myself
I justified my purgatory
As a duty
A commitment
A relationship
Though in truth, it was simply easy
Familiar self abuse
To experience or rather not experience
Anything
Could I justify ambivalence?
My scattered soul?
My lacking realization
I knew true insanity… the insanity of those who simply remain
As time passed I (saw) my worthless plight
In the mirror of my regret
A decade separated from myself
Suffering the nothingness in silent resignation
My illusion, a facade of complacency
Self-imposed isolation
A death nell of a love that never really was
My future the road less traveled
For fear of abandoning dreams
Scattered remnants of hopes that are long desiccated
I took the first step in the wake of a death
A pain spared by the grave
Thanos mercy the cruelest respite
Not to see the devastation
Of the loss
The truth laid bare
The fear unfelt
As the once bright flame
Finally died
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Memories of a Life: Lost
Tattered leaves left scattered on the floor
Remnants of things that were valuable
Signs of life that have once been present Real
Now passed usefulness just leftovers to show what was
Shattered dreams left abandoned
Hopes that never were
Nothing left to covent
Wind blowing lost ambitions away
Yellowed with age
Pieces of a life as worthless as the pieces of paper that remain
Littered among the cobwebs and dust of neglect
Mere shadows , phantoms of another time
Another place
Another life
No one left to morn it
No one left to remember it
No one left to care
Thanos has taken his due
Leaving an empty place
Where abundance once ruled
It’s all gone now
Empty
Wasted
A place that even the memories now fade
In a decade … or maybe two
Even they will pass
And
Be
Gone.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
