Made hard by life, by lack
Left alone to endure the cold places
Empty times when I trekked the storm blown plains
Plains of my own lost journey
When I was banished from my own existence
My own life
My own family
I, a stranger in familiarity
Known as the villain in my own saga
Challenged fate cursed the moment
Raised my fist to the sky
In the darkest of days , fear an enemy yet one the I dominated
As I stared down the hated gaze of my detractors
Shouted (Never!) To those wanton haters
That demanded submission, compliance
If I took a knee , it was in prayer
A prayer of strength
Of victory over the conquistadors of my belligerent adversaries
I will not go quietly
Surrendering to those who seek to author my fate, design my demise
I move forward against the bitter deluge
The violent winds
The angry sky
The storm is coming, the die is cast
War against the anarchist of my discontent inevitable
I stare into the tempest
My gaze locked on the future
As others falter in the progression of their moral intent
With my head up… my motivation, a righteous certainty
Endurance a surety
Embolden by my conviction
I Rise
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Lagrange Point of the Lost
Imagine a moment
Touched by thoughts
Coalesced in a manifest destiny
Of possible fates
In endless succession
Of mindless repetition
Redundant , mundane
A predictable instant
A daily propensity for
Empty actions
Meaninglessness in motion
A life in relief
Held frozen in a temporal state of
Now
Such is the monotony
Of the average
Man
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
My Dark Fate: Each Moment Alone
Silence , louder than a gunshot
The pulse of emptiness, my constant companion
It’s the lonely heart that is maddening
As darkness becomes life
In contemplation of broken expectation
Repetitious moments of nothingness
As time stretches
Surety becomes insolence
Indifference a witness
Of events, yet material
The truth is a bitter pill
As promises become monotonous rout
In the face of steel cold expectation
Yet , never made real
Assurances ring hollow
As each grain of sand descends
Tick, tick, tick
Ringing like a gong in my brain
Though, in truth, passes in silence
A dream though held dear, yet in vain?
Once more, I’m left wanting… needing…
Believing in the shining contemplation
The image of the fortunate
Drunk on the wine of the amorous soul
Yet, betrayed by my foolish fate
Adrift on the questioning tide
Of Indifference
Each day I wake , pursuing a future
That exists in a flux on ambiguity
Like mists at dawn, fleeting
Ethereal
Unreal
Such is my witness
Each experience, flavorless
Unsubstantiated
Unrequited
Never reciprocated
I exist, survive the onslaught
Of inner demons
As they celebrate my misery
Cheer my pain
As the beauty I pursue seems oblivious
Of my tortured existence
My doubtful gaze
I suffer in silence
With baited breath
And hope against hope
My emotional wounds are self-inflicted
Rather than a Damocles blade
To strike my already broken and battered soul
Shattering a future yet written
A fate left undreamed.
An Original Poem By H.R. Beebe
Forward Toward Dawn
Chasing my dreams
Forbidden themes
Things I shouldn’t desire
Are they beyond my reach?
Conspired against me
They strive to quell the stream
Stop the flow
Force me to quit, to leave
You can’t win. Who are you to have needs?
You can’t succeed
Through the mired planes, I thread forward
By myself, I moved silently
Dark Thoughts forged by darker deeds
Forced to stand even alone
On the path of the truth
Wherever it leads
Never waver, never falter
Toward the finish, I must seek
True wisdom is not in the known
The word or the deed
It’s found in the silence
An the rustle of the leaves
An internal journey
Made just for me
“I don’t know. ” … is the beginning
Of the understanding that I need.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Dying of the Light
Lost in a whirlwind
Adrift in need to heal
To renew
Desire unfulfilled
Can it be again?
Long time dead
Feeling empty
Cold
Left to my solitude
I remain in a status
Of the mundane
I existed
Yet did I live?
I had the semblance
None of the zeal
Flat lined normalcy
I felt nothing
Not love
Not hate
Indifference colored in shades of gray
Craving
Something to fight for
As I tripped the moral coil
I was just present
Like a kid in the back of the classroom
I paid little attention to the stream of days
Years as they wheeled by in cycle
I was alone in myself
I justified my purgatory
As a duty
A commitment
A relationship
Though in truth, it was simply easy
Familiar self abuse
To experience or rather not experience
Anything
Could I justify ambivalence?
My scattered soul?
My lacking realization
I knew true insanity… the insanity of those who simply remain
As time passed I (saw) my worthless plight
In the mirror of my regret
A decade separated from myself
Suffering the nothingness in silent resignation
My illusion, a facade of complacency
Self-imposed isolation
A death nell of a love that never really was
My future the road less traveled
For fear of abandoning dreams
Scattered remnants of hopes that are long desiccated
I took the first step in the wake of a death
A pain spared by the grave
Thanos mercy the cruelest respite
Not to see the devastation
Of the loss
The truth laid bare
The fear unfelt
As the once bright flame
Finally died
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Measure of a Man
A man of unbridled will
Unwilling to compromise
My life for any
I wake the day to blaze my own path
Not looking back to past failures losses
I live for this moment
People come and they go
I am unwilling to bend to the selfish heart
Or the narcissistic desire
Life is what it is
A gift to be taken if you are bold enough
To rush the fearful unknown
You live in this moment
Or die for past regret
Charge forward toward the places
Angels fear to tread
Bold courage is the power to be wielded
Fear a thing ridiculed by action
Unwavering determination
Marks a life well
Lived
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Memories of a Life: Lost
Tattered leaves left scattered on the floor
Remnants of things that were valuable
Signs of life that have once been present Real
Now passed usefulness just leftovers to show what was
Shattered dreams left abandoned
Hopes that never were
Nothing left to covent
Wind blowing lost ambitions away
Yellowed with age
Pieces of a life as worthless as the pieces of paper that remain
Littered among the cobwebs and dust of neglect
Mere shadows , phantoms of another time
Another place
Another life
No one left to morn it
No one left to remember it
No one left to care
Thanos has taken his due
Leaving an empty place
Where abundance once ruled
It’s all gone now
Empty
Wasted
A place that even the memories now fade
In a decade … or maybe two
Even they will pass
And
Be
Gone.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
The Model’s Gift
Here we go again
Darkness black as night
The things I hoped were real
Was it
Or just a lie?
My hopes my needs
Just shadows in relief
I thought it was love
Or was it just a mirage
fooling me
I hoped I prayed
Lost in my own tale
The truth was more blatant
The actual more real
She said the right things
I stupidly believed
For just a moment
I dared to have dreams
Touched … I felt it
I allowed the moment to be
In that instant It was made real
If only to me
Can I trust again
Could I open and be me
To let her know
The actual me?
It’s always been bad
To show them the truth
To step to the light
To let it be
Seen
The shield lowered
If only for a chance
But when it all came in focus
It was more darkness
It made no sense
Empty promises
Golden words lined with tin
Stolen chances
Pain
Again
In the end
What was left ?
Broken promises
And one standing alone
Me
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Mirror Images: Real Consequences
I see the darkness
Though they call it light
The chaos is touted as order
People starving as they claim
Prosperity
As the lies mount
Deaths are praised as great
While leaders depopulate
Lost the truth in the moment
As the false is used as the shield
Hiding the loss
Countries invaded are called progress
As the government shout in joy
The children are taken with a voice
In silence, the women cry
Their freedom sacrificed on the alter
In progress
A wonderland encounter
The insane controlling the asylum
Up is down, men are not men
Day is night
With the only thing real
Is yourself
And your freedom
There all that’s left
A shadow
And their
Lies
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Many Faces: One Love
I’m lost. As I watch it unfold
I love it, and yet I’m trapped
I want everything, yet I hold
nothing
I have happiness within my grasp
Yet no matter what choice I make
I lose something
Why
Why did I not speak up
Tell the truth
They are looking at me contemplating their sunlight
Only to have shadow fall
Someone has to face the pain
A sword that strikes the innocent heart
As tears reconcile, understanding
Anger to replace sure love
As the facade falls
To reveal the deceit
And betrayal of the hidden
Made plain
Only one
Only one will be mine
As the others face the soul pain
And learn their control was false
Their place a lie, like
Smoke on the wind
Like fog burning off at daybreak
It disappears until
It’s completely…
Gone
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
