Sometimes, the dark
Is the reason for the light
The pain of loneliness
Gives way to the peace
Of finding another heart
In the day to day
We move through time
Hoping for the high road
A chance to live better
Want better
Even when you live alone
In the moment
The hope is there
For a chance at more
Better
After giving everything you can
The hope is still there
A chance for understanding
A chance for love
To get moments
I suffered for
Yearned for
A lifetime of living for another
Living as someone else
Never for myself
Just me
Change meant letting go
Of the pain
Of the past
Change meant walking away
From who I was
To finally become
Who I want to be
To finally become
Me
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Lucifers Revenge
In silence, pondering
The lost wonder
Lost innocence of
A life forced into survival
To struggle against those
Sworn to protect
Sworn to represent
Their black hearted betrayal
A mockery of the past
The honored dead mocked
As legacy gives way to ideology
And plot overcomes decency
The barbarians pillage
Rape and murder
As leaders sip champaign
And toast their sedition
Behind walls, they say, are racist edifices
To defend the border but not their interests
Money begets greed
Power begets treason
Drunk on the blood of the innocent
They revel in their intellect
Congratulate their narcissistic agenda
Genocide wets their appetites
As they wage war on humanity
Their dreams of conquest
Warm their psychopathic hearts
Death being their mantra
As they pledge to Luciferic oaths
They burn the world
And cheer the chaos
As a fitting end to
The race called
Man
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Fates Folly
Lost in the images
Doors to different feelings
Different faces
Different futures
Possible futures
Impossible losses to be experienced
Obsession the naked ego
To need everything
Want everything
Only to understand
Fates cruel trick
Fates merciless motive
After a lifetime to give everything, a man could dream of
Only to punish him in the same action
Leaving the choice an unbearable act
The sword of Damocles waiting to drop
You can have one future
But not all
With a blessing comes a curse
Pain with pleasure
A Masochistic moment
Choose your path
But , live with the choice
With love comes pain
Choose your action
Actions have consequences
You will be loved
But you will be hated
The balance will be maintained
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
The Tundra of the Lonely Soul
I stand in the empty stillness
Alone… yet cold
The promise of the light is there
If temporarily
A promise
Of warmth, of Love , of life
Amongst the silence
Loneliness
A glimmer of hope
Redemption
Though it’s the in-between times
That tortures the soul
In whispers of diabolical words
Deeds
Anguish is conveyed
The mind is a most evil jailer
Punishing my promise
Damning my thoughts
Of what could be
A touch , a caress, a kiss
Of him
Woe my busy mind
My active imagination
My sundered heart
My soul cast to shadows
The shadows of uncertainty
It’s not knowing that is the tormentor
As I dwell there waiting,
Tic… tic…. tic
Alone with the hellscape
Of my bitter worries
As time stretches forward
I’m left to wonder
Is it my foolish pride, my stupid assumptions
Or is it I who is the ultimate fool
As I stand here in the nether gloom
Of my solitary countenance
Contemplating my own mortality
My own insolence
Believing the blessing of peace
Of love
Dwelling here alone
Hoping
Needing
In those empty moments
I dream of her
Only to have my salvation shattered
By the memory of her words
The coldness without her kiss
Those times feel like death
No peace to the heart without love
I see life , but with here
Every activity was just a day you died just a little
A life devoid of love is no life at all.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Lost: In A World Filled With People
When did it happen?
When did you leave me?
Was it a word or a look?
Another man or my pride?
When was the moment you went away?
Emotional stability fails in the face of loneliness
How can I compete with a shadow, a dream?
How long has it been since you were mine?
I wonder each day, is there more I could have done?
A word, a song, an action that could have stimmed the tide?
Changed the outcome
Stopped the inevitable
Changes come, and changes go
Though you became another person
I remained the same
I gave everything that was mine to give
You still were gone
Not in an action or an instant
Yet , you left nonetheless
I could feel it, see it in your words
Your disrespect is evident in your deeds
You left me without a cause or an inkling
Just checked out, leaving no forwarding address
One day, I logged on, looking for a love
A word of solace
I was there
You were gone
The space was empty
I was alone.
Dying Of The Light: Rage Against The Enemy Of Discontent
Made hard by life, by lack
Left alone to endure the cold places
Empty times when I trekked the storm blown plains
Plains of my own lost journey
When I was banished from my own existence
My own life
My own family
I, a stranger in familiarity
Known as the villain in my own saga
Challenged fate cursed the moment
Raised my fist to the sky
In the darkest of days , fear an enemy yet one the I dominated
As I stared down the hated gaze of my detractors
Shouted (Never!) To those wanton haters
That demanded submission, compliance
If I took a knee , it was in prayer
A prayer of strength
Of victory over the conquistadors of my belligerent adversaries
I will not go quietly
Surrendering to those who seek to author my fate, design my demise
I move forward against the bitter deluge
The violent winds
The angry sky
The storm is coming, the die is cast
War against the anarchist of my discontent inevitable
I stare into the tempest
My gaze locked on the future
As others falter in the progression of their moral intent
With my head up… my motivation, a righteous certainty
Endurance a surety
Embolden by my conviction
I Rise
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Solitary Trek: Life Lost In Translation
Life the solitary trek
Alone in the cacophony of things, people
Searching for solace, for reason
For purpose in the meanless cavalcade of experience
An abstract journey to empty dreams
Hopeless revelry with lost expectation
Questioning rational logic as the cycle continues
The pain becomes reason
As bitter souls pursue feeling… some feeling
Amour , enmity any feeling and failing
Indifference inundates the jaded heart
Withers the optimistic perspective
Leaving husks of people that aren’t living
Aren’t savoring moments of memory
That in youth beheld wonder in each encounter, in each breath
Now , the barren mindscape a monotonous repetitive grind
As one day replays
Again and
Again and
Again.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
Echos Of Eden: In The Spaces In-between
Echos of eden
In the garden of discontent
Lost innocence in the electronic spaces
Alone in the spaces between electrons and life
As the transients of the new age suffer unrequited love
Wandering aimlessly, the web of uncertainty
Seeking, searching their golden moments
Instants of connection, moments of solace
Connections of mental communion
Or physical ardor
Alone in the crowd, a soul among many
Wanting, needing …. something
A patriarchal reminisce
A matriarchal memory
Healing that empty cold experience
Or to forget the treasonous moment
And the fact they were abandoned by life
Separated by distances by languages by blood
Realizations become evidence
Evidence becomes clearity
The world is simply a grand illusion
The actual truth is it isn’t really here
At all.
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
My Dark Fate: Each Moment Alone
Silence , louder than a gunshot
The pulse of emptiness, my constant companion
It’s the lonely heart that is maddening
As darkness becomes life
In contemplation of broken expectation
Repetitious moments of nothingness
As time stretches
Surety becomes insolence
Indifference a witness
Of events, yet material
The truth is a bitter pill
As promises become monotonous rout
In the face of steel cold expectation
Yet , never made real
Assurances ring hollow
As each grain of sand descends
Tick, tick, tick
Ringing like a gong in my brain
Though, in truth, passes in silence
A dream though held dear, yet in vain?
Once more, I’m left wanting… needing…
Believing in the shining contemplation
The image of the fortunate
Drunk on the wine of the amorous soul
Yet, betrayed by my foolish fate
Adrift on the questioning tide
Of Indifference
Each day I wake , pursuing a future
That exists in a flux on ambiguity
Like mists at dawn, fleeting
Ethereal
Unreal
Such is my witness
Each experience, flavorless
Unsubstantiated
Unrequited
Never reciprocated
I exist, survive the onslaught
Of inner demons
As they celebrate my misery
Cheer my pain
As the beauty I pursue seems oblivious
Of my tortured existence
My doubtful gaze
I suffer in silence
With baited breath
And hope against hope
My emotional wounds are self-inflicted
Rather than a Damocles blade
To strike my already broken and battered soul
Shattering a future yet written
A fate left undreamed.
An Original Poem By H.R. Beebe
Dying of the Light
Lost in a whirlwind
Adrift in need to heal
To renew
Desire unfulfilled
Can it be again?
Long time dead
Feeling empty
Cold
Left to my solitude
I remain in a status
Of the mundane
I existed
Yet did I live?
I had the semblance
None of the zeal
Flat lined normalcy
I felt nothing
Not love
Not hate
Indifference colored in shades of gray
Craving
Something to fight for
As I tripped the moral coil
I was just present
Like a kid in the back of the classroom
I paid little attention to the stream of days
Years as they wheeled by in cycle
I was alone in myself
I justified my purgatory
As a duty
A commitment
A relationship
Though in truth, it was simply easy
Familiar self abuse
To experience or rather not experience
Anything
Could I justify ambivalence?
My scattered soul?
My lacking realization
I knew true insanity… the insanity of those who simply remain
As time passed I (saw) my worthless plight
In the mirror of my regret
A decade separated from myself
Suffering the nothingness in silent resignation
My illusion, a facade of complacency
Self-imposed isolation
A death nell of a love that never really was
My future the road less traveled
For fear of abandoning dreams
Scattered remnants of hopes that are long desiccated
I took the first step in the wake of a death
A pain spared by the grave
Thanos mercy the cruelest respite
Not to see the devastation
Of the loss
The truth laid bare
The fear unfelt
As the once bright flame
Finally died
An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe
