Standing in darkness
Cause I’ve lost the light
Fell from the pinnacle
It’s gone from my sight

Where I started full of love
It’s gone now, decimated
Torn away the hope
Dead the dream of life

Nothing is left, just sack clothe
Sitting on the ground in lament
How could it be all gone
Everything I knew in the end

Not a stick left standing
It’s all dead to my eyes
My life, my baby, my marriage
Fell away in quick succession

I didn’t see it the on the horizon
The storm that was to nie
Like Job I’m left wondering
Where did I go wrong

Was it my countenance
My drive or my lack of time
Did my black heart move forward
The eventual pain and strife

I’ve gone over time and again
Trying to see the moment it changed
The moment my resolve departed
And shredded my original way

It all came unraveled, a piece at a time
My morals departed, all gone
There I was alone again in my own head
Wondering what happened, was there anything I could have said

A man without a home, lost in familiar land
Left to stave and thirst, tortured by my own hand
I craved to be needed, to be loved
But, feeling the longing like a hole in the sand

Devoid of my confidence, a man adrift in my time
Aware that the executioners face under the mask was mine
In the blackness, I felt it there my real sin

The sin of not caring, the lack of empathy not for others
But for myself, I chose to face the empty meanlessness
That was the end of the decision I made

This hell was one of my own design
The devil who came and with him the intentional pain
Was a manifestation of the loss I felt self inflicted

After so long I had become dead inside
Empty of anything real
Just going through the motions
Of an illusion created left on my knees I kneeled

I found in the end it was I who blew up the facade
Burned it to the ground until the ashes were lifted in the wind
To try and feel something, any semblance of the the thing called … life

As stood there in the absence of light
With the weight of it all upon my mind
I knew it had to happen
It was a fate I was destined

An Original Poem by H.R. Beebe